I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
