i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard