there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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