At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
