i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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