There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This house was built for laser tag.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
