You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
