Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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