its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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