dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
