the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i dont even know how to be here
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
