So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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