STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
