Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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