there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize