You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
