have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
