i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The uberlube is also flammable
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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