I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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