is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
