'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
