But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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