white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'd cum for enchiladas.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
