bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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