Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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