hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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