how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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