At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
