Who wears a wallet chain?!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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