Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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