Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
