I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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