bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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