sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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