Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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