my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
