She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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