you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
