Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
