yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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