i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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