I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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