My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
