i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
