whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
