Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if you like me you must not know who I am
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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