It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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