trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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