There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
