just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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