i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
