In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The power of my boobs compel you
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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