She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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