I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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