He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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