ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Randomize