stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
