I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
