in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
