I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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