brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize