She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
