So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize