You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
