forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
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She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
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Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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