This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
