ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
