did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
