There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
