I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
